Top 10 indicators that you've become a geneaholic

 

10. You introduce your daughter as your descendent

9. You've never met any of the people you send e-mail to, even though you're related

8. You can recite your lineage back eight generations, but can't remember your nephew's name

7. You have more photographs of dead people than of living ones

6. You've even taken a tape recorder and/or notebook to a family reunion

5. You've not only read the latest GEDCOM standard, but also you understand it

4. The local genealogy society borrows books from you

3. The only film you've seen in the last year was the 1880 census index

2. More than half of your CD collection is made up of marriagerecords or pedigrees

1. Your elusive ancestor has been spotted in more different places than Elvis!

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These are copies of actual correspondences received by the Family History Departments of libraries:

• Our 2nd great grandfather was found dead crossing the plains in the library. He was married 3 times in the endowment house and has 21 children.

• He and his daughter are listed as not being born.

• I would like to find out if I have any living relatives or dead relatives or ancestors in my family.

• Will you send me a list of all the Dripps in your library?

• My Grandfather died at the age of 3.

• We are sending you 5 children in a separate envelope.

• Documentation: Family Bible in possession of Aunt Merle until the tornado hit Topeka, Kansas. Now only the Good Lord knows where it is.

• The wife of #22 could not be found. Somebody suggested that she might have been stillborn - what do you think?

• I am mailing you my aunt and uncle and 3 of their children.

• Enclosed please find my Grandmother. I have worked on her for 30 years without success. Now see what you can do!

• I have a hard time finding myself in London. If I were there I was very small and cannot be found.

• This family had 7 nephews that I am unable to find. If you know who they are, please add them to the list.

• We lost our Grandmother, will you please send us a copy?

• Will you please send me the name of my first wife? I have forgotten her name.

• A 14-year-old boy wrote: "I do not want you to do my research for me. Will you please send me all of the material on the Welch line, in the US, England and Scotland countries? I will do the research."

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Murphy's Law of Genealogy

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-The public ceremony in which your distinguished ancestor participated, and at which the platform collapsed under him, turned out to be a hanging.

-When at last after much hard work you have solved the mystery that you have been working on for two years, your aunt says, "I could have told you that."

-You never asked your father about his family when he was alive because you were not interested in genealogy then.

-The will you need is in the safe on board the Titanic.

-Copies of old newspapers have holes occurring only on the surnames.

-John, son of Thomas the immigrant whom your relatives claim as the family progenitor, died on board ship at the age of 10.

-Your great grandfather's newspaper obituary states that he died leaving no issue of record.

-Another genealogist has just insulted the keeper of the vital records you need.

-The relative who had all the family photographs gave them all to her daughter who has no interest in genealogy and no inclination to share.

-The only record you find for your great grandfather is that his property was sold at a sheriff's sale of insolvency.

-The one document that would supply the missing link in your dead end has been lost due to fire, flood or war.

-The town clerk to whom you wrote for the information sends you a long handwritten letter which is totally illegible.

-The spelling of your European ancestor's name bears no relationship to its current spelling or pronunciation.

-None of the pictures in your recently deceased grandmother's photo album have names written on them.

-No one in your family tree ever did anything noteworthy, owned property, was sued or was named in a will.

-You learn that your great aunt's executor just sold her life's collection of family genealogical materials to a flea market dealer 'somewhere in New York City."

-Ink fades and paper deteriorates at a rate inversely proportional to the value of the data recorded.

-The 37 volume, 16,000 page history of your country of origin isn't indexed.

Y-ou finally find your great grandparents's wedding record and discover that the bride's father was named John Smith.

-The family you are looking for will be on the last page of the unindexed (of course) census film that you check. However, if you begin at the end of the roll, they will be on page 1.

-The microfilm that you have diligently searched page-by-page will have an index at the end.

-All of your spouse's ancestors will be mentioned in county histories. None of yours will be.

-If you need just one record, the microfilm will have page numbers. If you need 3 or more records, there won't be any page numbers and the records will not be in the proper order.

-The book you need most will be out being rebound.

-You will need item 23 on a microfilm roll that has 22 items. The rest of the film is continued on another roll that will not be in the drawer, and the librarian will tell you that it is "missing, and presumed lost."

-Just before the entry you need, the records will end. They will begin again two years after the date you need.

-If one brother is left out of the genealogy of a family, guess whose ancestor he will be?

-If there is a family history on one branch of the family -- it won't be yours.

-When you finally find the microfilmed probate records of your missing link to a rich and/or famous line, the book will be so tightly bound that you can only make out the first two letters of the name of the one who MAY be your ancestor.

-The researcher you hired to read the original records at the courthouse will inform you that only the particular probate packet you need is missing.

-After spending a week at Family History Library in Salt Lake City, you finally find the book that will tell you about your ancestors ten minutes before closing time. Needless to say you have to return home and will probably never make it back to Salt Lake City again! Nor, will you remember the name of the book!

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Genealogists Dilemma

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A modern mother is explaining to her little girl about pictures in the family photo album. 

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"This is the geneticist with your surrogate mother and here's your father's clone. This is me holding you when you were just a frozen embryo. The lady with the very troubled look on her face is your aunt, a genealogist."

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Names that were found in United States Census records:

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Comfort Castle – found in 1830 Columbia County, NY.
Constant Chase – found in 1830 Boston, Suffolk Co, MA.
Noble Crapper – found in 1790 Worcester Co, MD.
Orange Field – found in 1930 Miller County, GA.
Tiny Little – found in 1930 Chattooga County, GA.
Joy Rider – found in 1930 Bennington, Morrow County, OH.
Cotton Tufts – found in 1830 Weymouth, Norfolk Co, MA.
Page Turner – found in 1880 Putnam County, GA.
Frost Snow – found in 1920 Reed Island, Pulaski Co, VA.

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Some famous genealogy related quotes:

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“Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics; your opponents will do it for you.” – Mark Twain

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“I don’t have to look up my family tree because I know that I’m the sap.” – Fred Allen

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“If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.” – George Bernard Shaw

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“He who has no fools, knaves, or beggars in his family was begot by a flash of lightning.” – Old English Proverb

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Funny Sayings about Cousins & Other Relatives:

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• Can a first cousin once removed be returned?

• A cousin a day keeps the boredom away.

• A great party is when everyone joins in the gene pool.

• An inlaw is someone who has married into your family; an outlaw is an inlaw who resists letting you do their genealogy!

• If your family members won’t talk about a particular relative, a seasoned genealogist knows they are keeping mum about something very interesting.

• Moment of Truth for a genealogist: discovering you are your own cousin.

• If you don’t know who the family black sheep is, it’s probably you

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Humorous Genealogy Quotes from Signs, Bumper Stickers and T-Shirts:

 

-Do you know where your great grandparents are?

-After 30 days, unclaimed ancestors will be discarded or claimed by another family.

-So many ancestors; so little time.

-I brake for ancestors.

-I chase dead relatives.

-I’m ancestrally challenged.

-Where there is a will, you’ll find a genealogist!

-Genealogists do it in libraries or in trees.

-Sign for a genealogist’s home office: Family research zone. Disturb at your peril.

-I am addicted to genealogy.

-Who’s your great great granddaddy?

-I only research genealogy on days that end in “y."

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More Definitions of a Genealogy Addict:

-Your kids think picnics in cemeteries are normal or that EVERYBODY does it.
-You're the only person in the bridge / poker club who knows what a Soundex is.
-"It is only a few miles down the road" means at least 50.
-Some of your best friends live over 200 miles away.
-You have more pictures of tombstones than of  the kids.
-"I need to spend just a little more time at the courthouse" means forget the cleaning, washing, dinner, chores; the day is shot.
-The mailman can't believe that you got this much mail from someone you don't even know.
-You explain to mother why you can't go 25 miles for Sunday dinner, but can go 100 miles to check out another cemetery.
-"As soon as I check out this census record,  I'll fix dinner" means "call the local pizza parlor."
-Your neighbors think you are crazy, your friends wonder, and YOU know you are.
-You can't drive past a cemetery without wondering if your ancestors are buried there.
-You have to watch the credits of a movie to see if any of the surnames are ones you are researching.
-You ask all the people you meet, what their grandparents surnames are.
-You move to a new town and the first thing you look for is a historical or genealogical society in the area.
-You go on vacation and beg your hubby to please drive 80 miles out of the way so that you can try and find your granddaddy's grave in 100 degree heat.
-Youthful fantasies of traveling to exotic places are replaced with plans to get to those little towns with graveyards, or larger towns with Archives!
-Your fear of snakes and bugs is overshadowed by the need to get through those brambles to that old gravestone.
-Old friends who knew you before you were into genealogy begin sending clippings about dead or live people with your surnames (and you know you have been talking about genealogy too much!)
-You worry about the roof's leaking only if the drips threaten your genealogy section.
-When you can recite all the counties of a State you've researched but where you've never lived.
-When you find your ancestor's execution by hanging or burning at the stake, far more interesting than the mass-murder that just took place next door.
-You're not invited to family functions because your relatives are tired of filling out family group sheets.
-When you read the New Testament in Sunday School and find yourself comparing the pedigrees in Matthew and Luke.

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